Many parents are wondering when and how to stop using diapers for their toddlers. When to start potty training? How long does potty training last? What is pediatric potty training advice? One thing is certain – you should never start too soon – it is one of the biggest potty training mistakes parents make. Read all the studies and research on the subject.
When my firstborn was 1.5 years old I started potty training. I remember my aunt telling me how she did it when my cousin was 10 months old, and it worked just fine. So I told myself… OK, it is summertime, the best time to do it. She was in panties at home all day, and, oh boy, what a mess we had.
She did it all over the house at first and then had 2 corners that were her favorite… LOL… Poop and pee everywhere… After a while, I did some research on how to stop using diapers and came to the conclusion that I was making a major mistake for my little girl.
When she was 2.5 years old, one day she just said: “Mum, I need to pee..” That was it, we took the diaper off and put on the potty-training panties. We had very few accidents, maybe 4 or 5, bud during the night she did wet bed about once a month till she was 3.5 years old. You must pay attention and always pee before bedtime. Every time we didn’t she would wet the bed.
Potty Training Research and Facts
A year ago I found some new research and came to the conclusion that maybe I still did something wrong. It’s from a pediatric urologist who specializes in toddlers toileting problems, Steve Hodger M.D. You really a must-read. I love this one and I must quote:
“Children under age 3 should not manage their own toileting habits any more than they should manage their college funds”
This made me laugh, but he does have a point. Basically, getting rid of diapers is the easiest part, but the point is to respond to the body’s urges in a judicious manner.
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What are the Biggest Potty Training Mistakes?
- The biggest mistake during potty training is starting too soon!
- Training too soon leads to peeing and poop accidents, bedwetting, and urinary tract infections. All are related to chronically holding pee or poop.
- Each time they squeeze the sphincter to prevent the release of pee the muscle gets thicker and stronger. You may think that is a good thing… but no. The thicker bladder has a smaller capacity and its sensation mechanism doesn’t work properly.
- Holding on to poop can stretch the rectum from 2 to 10 cm in diameter. It squeezes the bladder, so it can’t hold as much urine.
- Holding pee and poop just multiplies the bacteria and causes urinary tract infections.
- Children with the wetting problem are severely constipated despite not showing outward signs
| # | Mistake |
|---|---|
| 1 | Starting training too soon! |
| 2 | Starting too soon can lead to accidents, bedwetting, and UTIs from chronically holding pee or poop |
| 3 | Holding pee makes the bladder sphincter muscle thicker and stronger, but this reduces bladder capacity and causes improper sensation |
| 4 | Holding poop stretches the rectum, which squeezes the bladder reducing urine capacity |
| 5 | Holding pee and poop increases bacteria causing UTIs |
| 6 | Constipated kids may still have wetting problems even without outward signs |
After reading this I remembered some things and questioned my decisions.
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When Bella was 3 years old she started having constipation problems. I always thought it was due to sweats that she so much can’t resist. And to be honest, she is a very picky eater. She eats no vegetables and little fruit. My blender does the trick and she has a glass of veggies and fruit every day. But if you’d ask her, she would live on candies… like most kids.. ha-ha.
So maybe it is the food and sweets, and maybe I took the diaper too soon….and maybe both. We will never know. I just hope the damage is not too big.
Kids Who Have Constipation Problems
The thing that helps us most often is homemade soup (lots of it) yogurt, lots of fluids and no sweets, and all the junk food. And for painful rectum coconut oil is a lifesaver. It reduces the pain and eases the act itself. It’s no miraculous advice, but it does work. And we never drink juices aside from those homemade with real fruit. She can drink a glass of Coca-Cola only when is at a birthday party. And that way she enjoys it more I believe… LOL.
THIS TIME I WILL KNOW BETTER
Now my Zola is 2 years and 2 months. And there is no way I will try to take off the diapers until she’s ready. Of course, sometimes she wants to go to the toilet as she sees her big sis, but it’s more of entertainment to us than potty training.
I will definitely update you on this one…
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Toilet Seat or Potty?
While they are little, it’s better to use the potty. The main reason is the squatting position which is perfect for healthy and complete bowel movements. Some mums say that they do not like potty because of the cleaning part… I don’t find it difficult at all, I am sure you won’t as well.
Why Toddlers Should Squat for Potty Time
| # | Benefit |
|---|---|
| 1 | Aligns the rectum and relaxes pelvic floor muscles to allow complete emptying |
| 2 | Straightens the angle between the rectum and anus for easier elimination |
| 3 | Uses gravity to aid evacuation |
| 4 | Relaxes the puborectalis muscle which normally chokes the rectum |
| 5 | Unkinks the colon to allow feces to pass more easily |
| 6 | Strengthens muscles involved in evacuation as they work against gravity |
What kind of toilet insert to use?
If you do prefer a toilet insert you will need a step or footstool, so they get to sit down with their feet on a step. Otherwise, their feet dangle, and this position promotes incorrect bowel movements.
I believe we covered all the important facts on how to stop using diapers and potty training problems and solutions… You see, there is no rush, and especially no competition with the timing of potty training. As a reasonable human being, you will do as your instinct tells you to. For me, these facts were enough.
Read the entire article and decide….. or read more… This is not the only one, just the one I prefer.
Mums, our kids are our priority and we must learn every day to be better parents.
Sending you hugs and remember…
WE ARE STRONGER THAN WE ALL THINK!
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12 comments
Thank you!!1
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Potty trainings are great idea especially for newbie parents I’m sure this post would help a lot to get information for their toddlers awesome!
3 of my 4 kids potty trained so easily. The 4th took a LOT of effort and ingenuity. He was scared to be flushed down the potty and even on the portable he’d refuse to go. I knew it would be okay and it was. He was just a bit slower than his siblings and that’s fine. 🙂
Thank you so much for this article. I have been beating myself up because my 3-year-old was not fully potty trained. Recently, I felt that she was ready and now wears panties during the day but pull-ups at night. Your article was so helpful and validated a lot of my feelings.
So much useful information I learned about here! Thank you so much for sharing your insights on it. 🙂
My son potty trained so easily. He started pretty early and just told us he didn’t like the dirty diaper on his bottom! My daughter took longer because she has developmental delays. We are considering foster so I will keep this in mind!
This is such valuable information. I have a toddler whom we tried to potty train before but we had no success. We were told that we’d know when he’s ready.
It really takes time to potty train. We all need to be patient and it usually goes in the right time. Always start early until it becomes a “habit” for your child.
My friend is a new mum, so I am going to send this straight her way, as this will help her out I am sure x
I have no kids yet but this is one of the dilemmas of my friends who just recently gave birth. I will share this to them and I am glad I learn something new while reading this too. Thank you!
You have offered great tips here. There are many that I have done with my kids. Potty training is long in my past but I will share the post.